Authentic Relating

Authentic Relating.

What does 'authenticity' mean to you? How do you feel when you meet someone who is really authentic? Are you able to be authentic in every situation? And what happens when you feel you are not?

To me authenticity means to be able to be ME, unapologetically, in every situation. It means I can express myself using the exact words about the feelings I have. It means I can be vulnerable, voice shaking, throat blocking, feeling tears well up, and express myself anyway. It means I can be aware of the 'no' I feel, or the 'yes!'. And to allow myself to act on those; whether to express my no, or to jump into my yes. It means to honour my bodily sensations, indicating something is coming up for me that wants attention. To give space to them, even if it means I have to pause the interaction and tune in with myself before responding. Taking full responsibility for everything that is present within me in the moment and to lovingly express my needs and wishes, as well as my boundaries.

Does authenticity like this come naturally to me? Hell no. I have had to face the many masks I was wearing and allow them to come off, which is still an ongoing process. I have had to face inauthenticity in others and experience how it made me feel. I have had the intention to speak my truth and still sugar coat it in so much understanding for another, that the whole point of my message got lost. Or I spoke truth from a place of anger, and experienced nothing but rejection, denial, defensiveness. I've had to suffer the consequences of not honouring my yes's and my no's.

And in the end I have come to see that true authenticity isn't just a next new skill to strive for. It's a necessity. A way of Being. The only way to Be that allows me to fully step into All that I Am, fearlessly.
No expectations, no fear of stepping on toes, or of losing someone. Because in essence, there is nothing lost if someone can't accept my vulnerability, my strength, my yes's or my no's, if I express them with respect for myself and the other. The only thing to lose if I don't, is ME.

I offer regular Authentic Relating gatherings, to help support all who feel called to step into being more authentic, one step at a time. Through games and exercises, ranging from playful and fun to deeply insightful and introspective, we will meet ourselves in our most powerful as well as most vulnerable states and get to see that vulnerability is strength.

Authentic Relating is, in essence, a form of Experiential Learning: learning by experiencing in the moment. It may mean that learning occurs through the awareness that you are not able yet to fully allow yourself to be You, through all the ways you're holding yourself back. There is no doing it right or wrong, as every step is learning, by experience.

I work with themes, which I announce a few days prior to each gathering, but in the end most is about learning to express where you are with yourself in this moment.

I hope I get to meet your most authentic self.